My ObumR of a Nightmare

My ObumR of a Nightmare


So I had this terrible nightmare that mixed up the movie Music Man, among other things, with Obama.

It had seemingly eerie prophetic tones to it... why not? If conscience secular rung bells or hope and change can eschew nothing but sugar and spice, you have to allow my uplifting nihilist Swedish black and white, a gimmie.

I’ll have to review it in snips and bites because...it was a hazy dream, remember.

After a squawky stand-up argument amongst bloated salesmen journalists blocking the aisle ways of a fast travelling train starts to wind down, the brakes are suddenly applied and without coming to a complete stop a tall lanky man confidently jumps from the car door.

Having just pretended to be one of them, the salesman surprisingly offers his adieu with his middle finger as they press their noses up against the glass for once in genuine astonishment.

It’s been a long haul with many a mystery stop for the salesman to finally arrive under the Stars and Stripes flying high over the wooden dusty platform.

But with a smirk of a smile and a glint in his eye he mistakenly feels a swelling confidence, somewhere in his bowels, that his time has come.

He sees an oversized donkey wondering aimlessly down the road and is moved to straddle the big ass for the few steps to his destination of town hall.

He morphs into different characters as he plods along, Lincoln, Washington, Churchill, poppa Kennedy, young Kennedy, younger Kennedy, cousin Kennedy, Lenin, Stalin, Zedong, Carter, Clinton (H) and finally an Anglican priest.

He gets to the town square, gives the donkey a kick off and offers the city hall janitor his sincerest greeting with a bow approaching prostration.

Still transfigured as a priest, his face brightly aglow ....from his Bic lighter he proceeds to commend a stinking, long rotted corpse of a hog that has a surreal pasty look of Ted Kennedy to it.

He walks around the open casket waving his cigarette over top stopping to blow a few rings (hopefully no new faddish Andersonian slip here) and finishes with a tap of his ash before telling the 'pal'-bearers Matthews Maddow Oberman Shultz and a fork lift to scoot him quickly off screen.

Now I take part in my own dream and I am at the library asking for Madam librarian to stamp my book. I’m told by the secretary, Mel Gibson, that Master Wizbang Jennings is too busy right now, but will he sincerely suffice?

Hearing Madeline Albright singing, “I Could Have Danced All Night” I look to the mezzanine and Kevin Jennings is waltzing with Anderson Cooper while Robert Gibbs is giggling in the children’s section, and a guy with a golf club is hanging out under woman’s issues.

Anderson politely asks me to join them for tea and I meekly offer, “ Some other time, eh” as I walk out the door backwards feeling a need not to take my eye off the odd couple.

Back in town, the Mayor is demanding that his minions make the salesman present his credentials and prove he was born in Gary Indiana, when he sees the mysterious stranger offering flash cash taken as townspeople down payments for free loans, hospitals, new schools and affordable housing for foxes without lairs.

In exchange for the Ayers guide to the think-system, the biased lone town reporter agrees not to investigate anything on the mysterious man’s past including the Spit Spot School for Etiquette and Speech by Teleprompter, for today’s ambitious Marxists on the move.

Seeing that the town prominent elderly woman folk are swooning for the smooth talking smoker the Mayor orders, "not a poop" out of Lady Pal-oozie and for Lady Barbara to get her boxers back into a snit.

Opie is wondering down the road muttering, with his head doing 360's and the Mayor curses, "What wise guy ever got the spooky kid to speak?".

Fade in to the mysterious stranger hanging out alone with the town teens as he stares at the Mayor's daughter’s midriff and offers some nationally televised, hushed side- mouthed peer-cool advice to the girl and the town’s fonz/bestest ballet dancer and baton twirler, “Hey guys, no two young people should ever be burdened or tied together with that. Here’s a roll of flash money, you know what the responsible thing to do now.”

Just before I woke up I noticed this hairy weed grotesquely risen above all the low lying weeds. Though it was a calm day, these weeds that actually grimaced were all leaning into a non-existent strong wind with a constipated look of anxiety.

The hairy weed formed a small lower mouth and suddenly stood erect, but all that came out was the sound one makes when one puts a blade of grass between ones thumbs and cupped hands and blows into it.

The last scene was the grand salesman clothed in nothing but the American flag as he marched an endless parade twelve abreast onto a distant horizon of towering flames and to the smell of Hugo Chavez sweat and sulfer.

Paul Gordon

No Private Services Please, We're Citizens

No Private Services Please, We’re Citizens


Free enterprise, the only wealth generator of real dollars and provider of adequate and good service driven, by free enterprise competition, is increasingly under stresses, directly or indirectly applied form the socialist hand of government, everywhere.... except in Communist China.

The Communist government of China developed a ‘Whatever it Takes’ policy to remain in behavioural control of the masses and to just remain in power, period, earlier on when it saw Russia style communism in serious economic trouble.

Nothing says revolution like lack of money no matter whose in charge and as long as dictators or proletariats can afford to keep their pro-military fed and happy. Russia’s USSR had trouble with the latter when it had to down-size considerably and had to second-career the KGB as organized crime.

With all this in mind and the universally agreed incredible dismal track record of free world governments in providing any kind of services it’s hard to believe this kind of scenario would take place, at least satirically speaking but, in effect it does happen to us all in some manner or all.

A multi service provider sends it’s salesman to any house, anywhere, Ontario Canada.

Sales Guy: Good evening, Sir. I was wondering if I might be able to take a moment of your time and show you some of these life services we offer at incredibly low, low prices.

Occupant: Well, okay but let me bring up my personal government rep. He’s down stairs turning on the GPS system for little Johnny in the rec. room.

Sales Guy: You need a global positioning device in your basement?

Occupant: No, no that’s the Gay Porn Sensitizing system. Kids have to know what it is, ignorant adults discriminate against you know. I’ll be right back with Bob.

Sales Guy: Ooookay.

Occupant introduces, Bob the government appointed diversity expert and bi-lingual personal thinker and guardian.

Bob to Sales Guy: So what can we do for you?

Sales Guy: Well I just wanted to show this gentleman..

Gov. Bob Cuts Sales Guy Short: Got it!

Sales Guy: I didn’t even say what it was.

Bob: Doesn’t matter. We got it all!

Sales Guy: Pension?

Bob : Got it! We pay at least a hundred bucks a pay check for that sucker.

Sales Guy: Health Care?

Bob: Got it! Okay it used to be comprehensive and cheap but now its pretty selective, limited, and expensive but we’re covered all the same.

Sales Guy: Insurance in case you’re ever unemployed?

Bob: Got it!

Sales Guy: But this added insurance will boost your government paid unemployment entitlements.

Bob: Unemployment insurance is now as much as federal pension premiums. How do you expect us to have money for extras like private pensions and private unemployment insurance?

Sales Guy: Low premium day care?

Bob: We, er, well some of us are covered, and it’s not cheap for the government to do that kind of ‘necessary’ stuff you know.

Sales Guy: Private education?

Bob: Are you nuts? We’re paying high taxes for unionized education and we make the rules to have the kid come out the way they had better, anyway. Why pay more for the same finished product?

Sales Guy: Religious Education?

Bob:  That depends on a lot of things, for a lot of things including a heads up to our tax ministry. What did you have in mind?

Sales Guy: Oh never mind..... Communications?

Bob: Now, c’mon, Guy you’re not allowed to offer that unless we give you special limited licensing to do so and you give us kick backs in whatever form for all that extra money the communication industry can then charge and we make all the more in up-front taxes on. And you’re not one of those two, now are you, guy.

Sales Guy: Electricity supply?

Bob: Sorry again, Guy, there’s only one provider for that and electricity in this Province will get cheaper, only when all the debt from years and years of of our political, short sightedness, self interest, mismanagement and interference is paid back in full and we have billions to go. Though we just added a totally unrelated tax to electricity a week or so, ago. No flies on us, eh?

Sales Guy: Well how about pre-paid funerals then. You know burial plot, fancy casket, that kind of thing?

Bob: Well you got us there. What have you got that’s cheap, but you know that does give me an idea for another ‘special’ surtax. Anyone that can afford a funeral can surely pay a little extra something to the beaver and the trillium, hell they have to go in debt a little more anyway.

Sales Guy: Forget it, I’m out of here!

Bob: Nice disappointing and stumping you. Have a wonderful day and don’t forget to buckle up, not use your cell phone or smoke in that nice car eh? We have armed tax collectors for that.

Copenhagen Exterminators Bring Own Roaches

The world’s flakey leftist establishment just wrapped up their newest crisis scam hosted by a (typically) ungracious UN conference in Copenhagen Denmark with nothing better to do. 'Thunderous' applause for little dictatorshit, Hugo Chavez should be enuf said about the workings of the United (Socialist) Nations, but I'll explain some, anyway.

Apparently, they didn’t take the Russian firework spectacular spiralled flame-out over Norway as a sign to go back to the pantheist rocks they crawled out from under.

Like the Music Man with just the instruments to build the global village’s youth ‘crisis’ esteem that he instils in it, or the exterminator who pre-infests a houses before knocking on the owners house, the United Socialists Elect Retread Society (USERS), brings just the cures to heal its newest world disease.

I mean who in the world is so absolutely brain dead that they can’t see the second most brazen con-job group ‘pull-off’ in the world....the first being perpetrated by the same lead con man back in the United States in the form of being elected, and the third going to be the passing of bankrupting government health care, for the only serious free- world nation defender in the world.

I mean give your head a shake people. You don’t find it the tiniest bit strange and co-incidental that all socialist control pet projects are just the ticket for saving the world from....from... freakin weather disaster!

We’re talking honking wealth re-distribution by only the willing and the arm twisted. By the way, I’m sure Americans are happy that Dillary Simpleton broke the impasse and ‘WON’ the day for them by passing on the Commander and Thief’s signed offer of a hundred billion or so dollars down the road, mostly on behalf of America...like who else were you thinking of?

But, that’s okay America, Clinton the Sequel, assures you all that the important thing to do now was to make the promise, not actually worry about where the Hell that kind of loose change could actually come from, with the Bank of China already getting overly anxious.

We’re talking human baby culls and less and less free people in the world albe-them fantasised privileged. You might ask how do abortions, abortion brain washing, and the ‘fixing’ of your reproductive abilities change the weather of a supposed weather crisis. Well... exactly my point of the co-incidental cures with socialist goals.

It’s the same thing with leftist buddy- cohort vegans (which rhymes with pagans) . The new B.S. in the weather ‘crisis’ actually involves bulls in a major way (give them another A for gall). It goes, don’t eat red meat because red meat animals produce farts that contribute to weather change.

*Hey, note to future message in a cyber space bottle historians... do you think I could even dare make this seriously swallowed hilarity up?

We’re talking freezing in the dark and expropriated lands for expensive windmills that pee in the wind for all the real and lasting electricity they produce. That way like in every communist country in the world only the proletariat including their high ranking military officials can afford expensive items like property ownership and increasingly appreciated HVAC ( for the heat not the A/C, warmest idiot ideologues)

We’re talking another reason why only the socialist states fronted by socialist union educators should be allowed to educate your children. How’s a poor kid supposed to keep track and be properly trained in all the blatant and intertwining facets and minor faux pas of politically correct socialism or left-think.

Now, the second most important thing for socialists aside from controlling your every move and your future thoughts is to take your money from you and what better way to do that than to legally tax the living shit out of you... yes even worse than socialist McGuinty’s Ontario and Ottawa’s own oyster, Canada.

Any kind of transport that doesn’t involve your own two legs and probably some that do when they come to new taxes, is going to have to pay graft to the United Nation scammers. Why do you think hookers offer United Nation’s staff and socialist guests free sex. Because the United Nations hasn’t found a way to get their homelands to tax illicit sex for them, yet.

Taxes are not meant to take you off oil. What liquid in the world is sold for under a buck a litre? No, oil is a gold ‘find and take’ to all national governments of the world.

However, making oil the newest guilt tagged ‘SIN’ tax is to make taxing oil a more palatable universal patriotic ‘duty’ to the average schmuck and to hold back the anti-socialist revolution, as long as people can fooled into believing it’s cool to have the anarchists in power rather than organizing back in the alleys where all their filth used to be illegal.


Paul Gordon

Brave Bishop Fred Henry Taking on.....TheFaithful

Bishop’s Prudence = Imprudence Against The Church


Tiny Bishop Henry, Marxist, and Pope wannabe needs to concentrate more on his day job with the anti-Catholic Sun Media tabloid chain as a columnist.

He certainly fails as a Bishop of the Roman Catholic variety.

Long afflicted with little man syndrome, and blessed with too large a diocese in the Siberian climate of miles from no where, Calgary, Fred’s ego keeps garnishing national and international attention usually not in a good way.

He’s one of these, I am your leader and you will obey my orders, types, at least when it comes to dealing with minority Canadian good Catholics, for one, defined by their non- United Nation Marxist weighted liberalism. Taking on socialists, the State, or more pro-abortion Catholic political leaders than you can sprinkle Holy Salts on, does not fall under Henry’s brave grid.

Fred once stood front row on the picket line lockstep with brother bravado thugs of the union stripe that left all of North America in the economic shambles it is today.

Subsequently, his Excellency took on a lead ‘capitalist pig’, in Conrad Black, with a running letter to the editor battle for national attention to Canada’s poor (?) union workers.

When are socialists and communists going to learn that you can tame and contain job- creating capitalism without skinning it? Oh that’s right Communist China did!

Apparently, Oh Henry still hasn’t got the memo that:

a) Canada doesn’t need well intentioned but sacrificial challenged South American style socialist priest revolutionaries, and more importantly

b) All creations of Karl Marx are as Marx himself, devout enemies of the Catholic Church, hardly the Church’s secular heroes.

Newer items under Henry’s list of concerns included threatening to close down schools over gambling ‘charity fundraisers’ as opposed to concerns over curriculum or anti-Catholic teaching and anti- Catholic unions. (If there’s such a thing is a pro- Catholic union anywhere in the world that stands by half of the Church’s teachings, I’ll eat my key-board).

With the State Health Board’s direction and entry into the very heart of the Church, Henry has one-upped real Catholics with his ego, in the name of prudence... A lie of a false prudence, ostensibly, that Catholics at Mass will not pass the Swine flu onto each other, if the Fraternity of St. Peter desists as ‘ordered’ by Henry, in defiance of the Vatican, of offering Holy Communion on the tongue.

This false prudence gives critical sordid rise to the imprudence that the Body of Christ is decidedly not so i.e, could the ‘Body of Christ’ be part and parcel of a chain in a so-called pandemic (that killed all of one young hockey player and not many more in Ontario) whose symptoms like any flu could possible kill if left unattended for controllable symptoms like dehydration, high temperature, and lung congestion?

If not, what is it, Bishop Henry?

If it’s a practice to placate chronic whiners and germophobes, than lets placate people who have a fear of crowds and do away with Mass as well.

Like the cashier who asks of the customer, “Why don’t you use the ATM?” or the grocery checker who asks of the customer, “Why don’t you check out your items yourself?”. Then why do we need cashiers and item checkers at all and why do we need Bishops or Priests if we can have Communion Services and serve Communion amongst ourselves, even when a priest is present at Mass?

As it is, anyone can and does hand out communion as Eucharistic Ministers ( as opposed to extraordinary Ministers as Papal intended). And, trust me, some priests have gone as far as ordering parishioners to leave their line and go to neighbour Bob’s Communion line.

Nothing against Bob, but he has neither Holy Orders nor Consecrated Hands. He is not the Priest, or Christ’s official representative in the House. And when a priest means nothing, the Canadian Church and Mass mean nothing. All that is left is Bishops, with large egos with no one left to boss, except Christ...and good luck with that eh.

As any soldier of World War II would be appalled to see what the country he defended with his life has become, so would any priest or Saint prior to the misfiring of the Holy Spirit of Vatican II, be appalled to see what the Canadian Church has become. (Their first mistake was to change the objective Holy Ghost to the subjective Holy Spirit)

We lost both wars to the enemy and mostly to incremental cave ins and huge egos just like that of Bishop Henry.

And if I save my worst venom for the Bishops and priests who are pedophiles, socialists, or cowards its because no one has done more harm to the Church than them, and letting the State decide how Roman Catholics are to receive the Body of Jesus Christ and have received It for hundreds of years is a most egregious assault and insult on Christ and the Church.