Wanted: Slick Politicians...By All Main Parties

Wanted: Slick Politicians.. By All Main Parties


• Experience and homosexuality preferred, but celebrity, or prominent head-shaven ugly activist can go the distance for this position.

• Expectations: Must be able to shut the Hell up on all issues except those favoured by our opponents and heel immediately on call.

• All ‘pay you later, alligator’ socialist programs are always a hit, but that is only on a need to know basis on your level. Don’t screw up the only thing that buys us elections, erases memories and makes the scary masses think with the little pocket.

• Must be able to drop any and all ideals as should need not be even be stated

• Any religious affiliation will only be considered as an asset during campaigning, after which Catholic beliefs, especially, will be considered enemies of all party policy and you will be expected to attack the heart of Catholicism as such (make something up, but sound sincere and like totally indignant, dude)

• The leader’s personal professional cool-aid fuelled populist staff will make all statements official or otherwise, from the least significant to the latest hot button fad.

• Talking points for the day will be sent out simultaneously to our party friendly, independent news groups, brain dead entertainers, and you, as our background mumbler blurbers. Any questions on any talking points, action plans, or requests for logical explanations are to be deferred indefinitely, if it is not possible to outright ignore them.

• You will be allowed to do little favours for mom and pop constituent if it can be proven to up the party vote count by word of mouth, and that you will be expected to chart. Likewise, you will be expected to do these favours if an issue is made of non-assistance that will publicly hurt the party. But that’s it! (Refer back to 1st expectation.)

• Smoke em if you got em... just be there on those tough votes and do exactly as we say.

• Sweetest of excellent benefits up to, and including post career honorary corporate directorships, not to mention secret allied foreign country pay-offs and foundation donations.

• Absolute job security for duration of elected term (barring any real serious criminal conviction).

• We’re your liberal and conservative parties of the day, and we’re both so bad, we’ll always get re-elected because you always get sick of our cocky selves eventually.



Tired of tossing the same bums out and seeing their same flakey hand picked hip- pocket... activist judges.

Vote pro family, free speech conservative, or independent anyone.

Paul Gordon
irishrus.blogspot.com